Please I need advice I hope I don’t get hate

But I need to vent and need advice

So idk how to say this without sounding awful..... I love my kids but I hate being a mom not sure if I’m going through a phase or depression.... but I need help i have 8year old 2 years 10 month old

My 10 old baby boy is so needy since he is a baby he will cry and always only want me not his dad. I literally hold him all day!!! No breaks only when he naps. I feel like all day I change diapers my 2 year is still in diapers plus baby I just feel so overwhelmed I’m starting to hate my life. I will be so frustrated with my baby that when I have down time the girls need my attention and I have no patience for them I feel awful like such a terrible mom! I don’t work I’m a sahm and I need something other then this to help me out I think that may help idk I need someone to talk to. No one understands me not my mom not my husband.

I love my kids to death idk what I would do without them but I’m just tired I feel like I lost myself over the years my life is always about someone else other then myself

I feel like I’m going into depression I’ve never been depressed but i think I am

I always see the good in things the positive even when things are bad but right now I see all our problems and I see nothing positive