It feels hopeless

Been trying 28 mos got pregnant twice using Ivf ( had five embryos, did three transfers, no embryos left) but both pregnancies ended in miscarriage.

It feels like it’s not meant to be but it’s all I ever dreamed of. I feel like less of a woman for not being able to give my husband a child, he will be such a wonderful father.

I’m a pretty private person (hence why this is anonymous) but at a block party someone, an old family friend, asked why I didn’t have kids and when I was going to make my parents grandparents - I had just gotten the news that my hcg was dropping and I would soon miscarry - I blurted out “sure, you gonna carry them for me?”

I just don’t understand why this is so hard for us when horrible people get pregnant and carry their babies to term all the time.

I hate suffering in silence with no one to talk to, I hate that it feels like it will never happen and will only get harder with age. I love how patient and understanding my husband is but I hate that I can’t make him a father. I won’t give up just yet though even though I want to at times. Thanks for reading my long rambling of a vent, wishing the best for you ladies.