I appreciate everything you do for us, I really do. All of the hard work and late nights. More than you know. But sometimes I want to feel appreciated too. I’m sorry that sometimes you don’t get the best nights sleep or get woken up by our son crying for his bottle or his diaper change. But I’ve never once asked you to get up to feed or change him while I survive most days on maybe 4 hours of sleep max, I let you sleep all night because I knew you had to go to work to support our family.

I’m sorry that I upset and frustrate you when I ask you to move your arm or scoot over at night because you’re bumping into the baby’s co sleeping bed. But the baby and I both sleep so much better when we are next to each other and these days I savor anything that helps me sleep better or more. Especially on the nights where he fights going back to sleep for an hour.

I’m sorry that our home isn’t the cleanest but it’s so hard for me to even get 10 minutes to myself anymore and when I do I just really really want to sleep.

I’m sorry that when you’re home and just trying to relax and watch tv that I keep asking you to do things for me like god a bottle or get the gas drops, but I cherish every tiny little bit of help that I can get from anyone.

I’m sorry that most nights our dinner is either take out or some half assed meal I just threw together. But our baby was clingy and crying and wanted to be held but I at least tried to have you a hot meal to eat when you got home or sometime before bed time. I couldn’t tell you how many days I go without eating because I choose sleep over food or the nights I go to bed at night still hungry because I ate so fast or so little so that I could get back to our baby so that you can eat instead of watching him not because You said anything but because I know you’re hungry too.

I’m sorry that I don’t want to have sex with you every night. Yes, it’s important to our relationship. And it’s not because it’s not good or I don’t love you. But I just don’t feel like myself or beautiful or sexy enough anymore. It’s hard when your body has changed so much so fast to the point where I don’t recognize myself anymore. That plus the complete and utter exhaustion my body feels 24/7.

I’m sorry I’m not the wife I used to be. But my whole world still revolves around you and our son. Making sure you both get what you need without having to ask.

I’m sorry.