I’m so happy to be pregnant. To be creating a little human that’s half me, and half her daddy. I’m so in awe at the miracle of it all.

But quite frankly, I suck at doing pregnancy the “right way”.

I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I hardly eat as I should because I’m not cooking. Everyday is a mystery of what to eat. Due to sickness I’m not to start my day without eating anything. It’s literally the first thing I have to do when my eyes open. But I haven’t grocery shopped for weeks. & everything I eat or drink leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. So I’ll literally lie in bed for two hours trying to figure out how to start the day, and wind up sick which I feel like is my fault anyways. That lands me in the bed basically for the rest of the day.

My home is such an overwhelming mess. I feel so bad for my boyfriend. He’s not much of a cleaner, and most of the mess is mine so he’s not sure what to do with anything.

I have terrible headaches, dizziness, nausea, occasional vomiting, terrible hip pain, back pain, pinching in my uterus. I feel like if I could just get off my ass and eat how I should, and take my vitamins as I should, I may feel a little better.

But where and how do I start? I’m starting to think I may be a little depressed. I’m not complaining about being pregnant in any way. I’m upset with myself because I’m not doing my body & baby as I should be.

I teach and school starts back in a couple of weeks so I need to be getting my classroom ready. I can’t in this condition. & it’s giving me so much anxiety. I feel trapped in a vicious cycle that I feel is all my fault.

I’m 16.5 weeks by the way. Most of this started first trimester.

As soon as my boyfriend gets home from work I’m going to talk to him as well, but I just needed to let it out right now. 😥