We’ve been dating for almost 2 years. I was really in love with him the first time we met, and tried to get together with him for around 6 months. He finally returned my feelings, and we were a happy cute couple after that. We started having a sexual relationship very early on like within 1 week into a relationship. I felt satisfied with him since he was a lot better than my previous boyfriends.

My parents also liked him which led me thinking that he was perfect for me. I cared for him a lot, and was willing to do anything for him. Anything we would fight or he was mad, I was the first one to apologize. After a while, I noticed there was something odd and annoying about him. He always “forces” me to do what he want, and if I don’t listen he would ignore or be mad at me like a child. I was so frustrated whenever we would get into fight at night, and he would just be pissed and not wanting to solve this issue by saying “ Bye, I’m sleeping bc I’m pissed.” I was so annoyed at this problem, and we talked and it got better over time.

There were so many times when I wanted to break up with him because I was so frustrated whenever he gets mad at me. He would straight up not give any sh*t about me when he’s mad. It takes him a while to finally apologize to me. He’s so narrow minded also which my friends pointed out to me. Anything he doesn’t believe is wrong. He would never listen to anything he doesn’t believe is right.

Our sexual relationship started out great. We had sex regularly, and we were both into each other. But later on since we’re so busy with school and work, we had sex less. I’m fine with that honestly, but for him it’s a different story. Now I feel like whenever we hang out it’s just to have sex or do nothing with each other. If there’s an opportunity to do it, he would make me do it just to get off his sexual desires. I seriously don’t know why but I’m just used to having sex with him so I listened to him every time we do it. I just had to submit to him. Yes I do enjoy it sometimes, and I can’t explain why I feel that way.

Something happened recently which led me to believe I just can’t stand this relationship anymore. We went to vacation with another couple for 2 days. The other couple slept in the same bed, so he and I slept in the same bed together. I was so tired that night and all I wanted was for him to cuddle and hugged me to sleep. I was not wearing any undergarments underneath my clothes. Im so used to doing this because I feel comfortable sleeping. We first started cuddling, and he started to touch me. I was fine with it at first and then... The other couple slept, and he started to force me into having sex with him under the sheet. He was horny, and he commanded me to move in these positions so he could do it to me. I repeated NO STOP I do not want to do this while the other couple is on the other bed. I was incredibly sleepy, and I couldn’t move. I was completely under his submission. I told him to jerk off himself, and he didn’t listen. He kept trying and I was so uncomfortable. All night I just wanted to sleep, but he just kept forcing me. I just had no will to continue fighting him. He got mad when I finally said STOP RIGHT-NOW in a harsher tone. He finally stopped because my body was not wanting him, and jerked off himself. The next morning, I didn’t want to make a big deal because it was our vacation and I didn’t want to ruin the other couples vacation.

I confronted him about it secretly, and he absolutely didn’t care and ignored the whole thing. He didn’t even apologize. I did a lot of thinking, and I just couldn’t handle how he basically raped me and totally didn’t care, I felt so disgusted doing that next to my friends when they were asleep. All I wanted was cuddle time next to my boyfriend, but he didn’t have any respect for me. He violated my body thinking I’m just a way for him get off.

Right now, I am not talking to him. I wanted to talk to my friends and get advice on how to break up with him. I am honestly happy if I could get out of this relationship. I’m so sick of being stepped on in this relationship. It’s just so hard because he’s my longest relationship, and my family likes him.

Am I really just a sex tool? Should I break up with him?