My fur baby 😭


I have had my rescue beagle since 2015. She is truly my first baby. When I was 32 weeks pregnant she had a small tumor on her foot that we had removed, at 36 weeks we realized that she was struggling to use her back legs and continually falling and dragging them. We did two rounds of steroids and pain meds. The day after we came home from the hospital with our baby boy, I called for an MRI since she was doing worse than we expected. We took her in when he was a week and 3 days old for an MRI and she had emergency back surgery to remove a slipped disc. We were told 95% success rate and she would be able to walk and completely pain free! We were like sign us up! We do the surgery and get a call stating that her disc was actually mineralized and they couldn’t remove it all, but that she should be more comfortable. We were prepared to get her a wheelchair for her legs and just keep her in diapers for the rest of her life (she doesn’t have full control after her back surgery.) she was also standing and walking short distances. we wake up Friday morning more than a month removed from surgery , and she is shaking, panting not eating and won’t lay down, cannot stand without falling and won’t try to walk. I call the vet for more pain meds, hoping to get it back under control. Here we are day 4 of being back on pain meds and day 4 of bawling my eyes out and we are still in the same position. I made a very hard decision that I cannot keep her with me because I love her when she’s in so much pain. The pain seems to come in spurts, so she does clam down and drag herself around the family room at times. I cried all day yesterday and all morning today. My sweet baby peanut will be going to heaven tomorrow and my heart is just broken. There is no more course of treatment for us to try. She loves unconditionally and my heart just aches, but I am trying to make sure she feels loved and spoiled while we are still together