How do I break up with him?
Um hii! I'm writing a post here because I might need some advices right now, it might be a bit long so be prepared please! I've been in a long-distance relationship for almost 8 months now, he truly is an amazing person and in the beginning I couldn't be happier with him. He made me felt like I was in heaven but of course as you can guess, it didn't last. Almost one month in we had a disagreement about something, let me explain real quick, he wants children really badly and he was quick to tell me he wanted to have them with me but he also told me he wanted to name "our" child like his ex and I didn't like it obviously so anyways we had a disagreement. But he was extremely sweet and just understood and accepted my opinion. But over the past months similar incidents happened where he mentioned missing certain exes and things like that, now you don't see nothing too bad right? Waaaait a minute! This same exact man told me before we started officially dating that he didn't like to hear me talk about exes or past relationships so I always respected this and never talked about it with him but lmao boy was doing the opposite. I always kinda suspected that he might not be 100% in the relationship and talked to other girls but back then I was so in love with him that I refused to talk about it because I was scared to lose him. Fast forward to May, for some reason I started to lose feelings for him. I didn't want to think that it was true but it was, I truly kept losing feelings for him. One night I told him everything about me not trusting him and about the fact that he was being an hypocrite by telling me not to talk about my exes while he did. Anyways it didn't exactly end well because boy just wouldn't understand for shit. We talked about it again a few weeks later and it went down. At this point I was convinced that I didn't love him anymore. I said something about how I was feeling without necessarily saying it was about me but it was very detailed. I basically said that sometimes people pretend to love someone because at some point that person truly mattered but over time things made them lose feelings and now they can only pretend in hope that the other person break up with them. He asked me if I was feeling like that and I lied and said no. But he told me that he needed time and we didn't talk for 2 days. Surprisingly I got really scared of actually losing him because I wasn't fully prepared to break up at that moment. But now it's a whole different story, there's no love in our conversations, it's dry and doesn't feel like a couple. And like I'm not gonna lie, he annoys me and I don't like him at all. I just want to be over with him to be able to live my life fully and meet new people because over the past months I was literally blinded by our love, I pushed people away and let go of my social life to be with him. I'm not someone who can handle being in long relationship like that, I have this need of independence and I need to be free. So now I'm stuck in a relationship with someone that I don't love and desperately need to get away or else I'll probably end up cheating on him and I don't want to do that buuuut he makes me feel like I'm trapped in this relationship because he always says that he can't live without me and bla-bla-bla so now I just need advices. I'm leaving my city in 5 days for the summer and I have the intention of meeting new people and just enjoy my life so how do I break up with him without being too mean or cold I guess?