Every time I go to the bathroom or stand up even I just want my water to break. Or when I wipe I wanna see that “bloody show”. Or I wanna start feeling actual contractions consistently enough to finally go to labor and delivery. I don’t care if it’s the most painful feeling I’ll ever feel in my life. I just want this pregnancy over with. I’m 37weeks. So I know it could be a while still. And I feel so selfish because of it. But I’m so small. And this pregnancy has been extremely difficult. With throwing up on average like 6 times a day if not more since I was about 4 weeks. I can’t even keep water down much less any food or juice. It’s made my insomnia 10 times worse. I’ve had unexplainable horrid pains according to my doctors. So much false labor. So many Braxton Hicks. Even worse migraines. My anxiety is way worse. Along with my depression most days. I can barely get out of bed because of pain. And no medication has helped what so ever with any of it. I’ve been prescribed and tried everything possible.

It’s so tiring mentally and physically. And I know others have it way worse obviously. And I definitely feel blessed to be carrying this baby. I love him so much. And I feel so bad and so selfish for just wanting to be done to just have him here already for my own benefit. As long as he’s healthy when he gets here he can go weeks overdue if he wants of course.

It’s just really hard having to get off all my medication for my mental health issues. And all this constant nausea and pains and everything else.

I just wanted to vent I guess. Pregnancy is definitely the hardest thing mentally and physically I will ever go through. For many many reasons. I just am praying for a happy healthy baby soon. That’s all I want. 😕😩