5 weeks ago today I lost my first baby. My little bean, my world, my heart. I know how I’m feeling, how much I’m hurting. I can put into words how I feel in my head, how much I’m struggling. But I can’t get the words to leave my mouth. People want to know how I’m doing. I want to tell my partner what is wrong. I want to talk about it. I want to tell my parents. But I can’t get the words to leave my mouth. I can’t tell them how I can’t stand being around the family. How I can’t stand to be around my cousin, seeing her growing baby bump. How I cant be around my other cousin and her baby. How I can’t enjoy time with my nephew because I think about my baby. I’m struggling so much and can’t even talk about it because I can’t get the words to leave my mouth. And it hurts 😭