Hey ladies. Y’all are so good at supporting on here. And today I just need some of that support.

People keep telling me I am a victim of domestic violence. However I don’t feel like a victim. Most days my husband is ok. On his ok days he just doesn’t speak to me much at all and does his own thing. Other days he’s nice. Shows me love and attention. And then some days he has bad days and acts like a complete different person.

He has never “hit” me. And when he does get physical he doesn’t do it hard enough to leave a bruise or mark. Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts and sometimes causes me to cry out of pain. But he always stops when that happens. He mainly just grabs me aggressively. Grips my neck. But when I cough he immediately stops. So he says that it’s not considered choking since he barely puts any pressure. Hes slapped me in the face before. Again not super hard. And he only did that twice and was along time ago. He usually just shoved me hard against something or bends my arm back. When he does these things I scratch him with my nails. I’m extremely short and small and he’s 6ft. So it’s my only way to defend myself. But I guess that would mean I’m abusive too?

I don’t call the cops because like I said he never leaves a mark on me.

The physical stuff happens maybe once every couple of weeks. So not that often.

And sometimes it’s just him shoving me away. He takes my phone as a way to punish me when he’s pissed. It’s so annoying because he won’t let me touch his phone. But he’s never cheated and he’s home every single day right after work. And always pays for entertainment like movies and dinner.

He threatened me twice before but it was along time ago and he said it was only a joke. Just stuff like “ I could end you right now “. But he doesn’t own any weapons. And again he doesn’t do physical stuff very often and never does it very hard. Afterwards he says he’s sorry and that it’s because I’m the only person that can make him that angry.

He calls me names everyday when he’s mad. So I call him names back. I know that the name calling is toxic and unhealthy. He won’t stop though. I have tried to get him to stop by having serious talks with him. He just says “ well if you wouldn’t act like a bitch or worthless I wouldn’t call you that.”

He’s super liked by the community. Has a great job and nice house. Very responsible. And can be sweet.

My friends think I’m a victim but I just feel like he’s an asshole. Idk.