I’m struggling with life right now I don’t know how to continue.

I’m overweight and trying to lose weight, I have endometriosis which is extremely painful and they will not operate til I lose weight I’m stuck and I have no way out..I’m honestly on the verge.. my relationship of 9+ years is falling apart, I can barely function let alone be a girlfriend or even have sex due to the pain. I haven’t self harmed in years but it’s all I can think of today.. I just want to feel good but I fear that will never happen again.. help any advice you can give words of hope strength I need to fight I’m just losing the will..