I just want to talk about this *trigger warning*

After having a really smooth induction and delivery of our gorgeous baby girl I ended up having blood pressure that was a little high for my doctors comfort level so they put me on the 24 hour magnesium treatment. I believe it was a precaution for preeclampsia after birth. The nurses called it "the mag" and it wasn't spoken of lightly. It felt like I was in hell. My body felt hot and I couldn't move easily because it relaxes your muscles and my doctor didn't want to risk an infection so I didn't get a catheter. I had to wait for nurses to come help me out of bed to go to the bathroom. I had to be in complete darkness because too much stimulation could cause a seizure. I couldn't sleep because the magnesium made me see really trippy scary shit even when I just closed my eyes. It made voices in my head sound strange and I couldn't see straight. It was so horrible. I just think about it and thank God that it's over because it was such a nightmare.

Sorry to scare anybody. I just haven't found a way to cope with having gone through that. It's like a bad dream I can't escape. It makes it hard to sleep at night remembering it all.