I’m 21 years old. I haven’t had a job since last November because I was fired, and I kinda dropped out of college two years ago due to depression and anxiety. I have honestly never felt so low in my entire life than I do now and lately. I feel worthless. I’ve been looking for a job ever since I got fired, but haven’t been successful in being hired anywhere. And I’m trying desperately to get back in school. I constantly see my peers on social media, getting married, getting engaged, becoming pregnant, graduating from school, going on vacation, getting new cars, getting promotions, buying houses, etc and I’m happy for them, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous. I try to pray everyday. I try to be a good person and I try to be strong for my mom, older sister, and younger brother. I can’t see a therapist because I can’t afford it. There’s a lump in my chest I can’t do anything about because I don’t have insurance, nor can I afford any doctors visits. I really starting to think that maybe God just has favorites and I’m not one of them. Maybe I’m just not meant to be happy. I pray to God, but I feel like he doesn’t hear me, or maybe the things I pray for just isn’t possible. I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of suffering and not being happy with myself and my life. It’s like the more I try and pray, the worse things get for me. I don’t know what to do anymore. Suicide has been on my mind heavy lately and it’s seeming like the most valuable option more and more everyday. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel completely and utterly worthless.