Update:

We are calling it quits. We've been together for seven years, married for 6. During this time neither of us has cheated or anything like that. However, there are some issues that I just can't get past. I have asked for couples therapy in the past. He makes a few phone calls and says it's $70 a visit with our insurance and we can't afford it. I bought the Dave Ramsey total money makeover and asked him to read a few chapters and he's read one chapter in two weeks. Yet he's played fortnite almost everyday to rank the kids up. Video games have been a constant issue in the relationship. Although he has greatly reduced how much he plays them, they still take priority over other things. If he had dedicated the time in the last two weeks to reading that he has to fortnite he would he done the book. He's denies playing games as much as he does. When we tried to talk about it last night he said he's only played three hours in the last two weeks. We both know that's a lie. I asked him to start therapy a few years ago and he went twice and didn't return because of the cost. I asked him to join the gym with me and he won't. Yes, he's a stay at home parent and that for sure is a full time job - I 100% acknowledge that but I would say he puts in 40% effort. He hasn't been taking the kids anywhere this summer. He's in college but it's one class a semester. He has made some terrible financial decisions despite me saying no because he thought he knew best. I just don't see him growing up or changing. As a 30 year old man, in the last 7 years the longest he's had a job is 90 days. The kids are in school full time and he's resisting going back to work when our family really needs the money.

Thanks for the comments. I will work on lightening up. I was trying to work and help him get a system in place so they could pack. I thought it would be fun for the kids like a scavenger hunt and an easy way for us to ensure that nothing is lost. Last year one of my kids left their favorite plushie behind and we never recovered it. We also lost flip flops and other items too. I didn't mean to make everyone feel like it's bootcamp. Just wanted to help in between meetings at work.

I just had a big blow up with my husband. Sorry if this is long I'll try to keep it short. Here are the events that unfolded.

We are driving across country on vacation next week because he won't fly. I'm ok with this although it's not ideal. We have 3 kids ranging from 12-6.

I made lists of everything they need to bring. I put two check boxes next to each item - 1 for when they pack and the other for when we leave to come home.

I explained to my husband as he sat and watched me make these lists "I'm making these so the kids have something to track their stuff. I don't want them to pack yet since we don't leave until Saturday. I just want them to gather everything and put it on their bed. I'll wash and dry everything and we can fold their stuff Friday night and check it off as it goes in their bag. So don't check anything off yet"

He replied " that's a great idea. Thanks for doing this".

I work from home and I was doing this in between meetings - right up until 3 mins before a meeting started. I gave the kids their lists (with my husband there) and told them the same thing. Explained not to pack yet and don't check anything off yet.

Fast forward to dinner.

I asked if everyone found their stuff yet and all the kids were excited and said yes. My husband starts kind of laughing and says "well it didn't say shirts on the list but we packed shirts anyway" and all the kids start laughing and joking "nice going mom". So I asked him "did you write it down on the list and include how many shirts they're bringing?" Of course the answer is no.

So then later we are coming home from the store and he starts laughing how yesterday I asked him to get a megamillions ticket and he told me that he would get one today with the kids and he forgot. This is a recurring problem that we have where I do not feel like he listens or validates my opinion. I've told him before how it hurts my feelings that we will be grocery shopping and I'll say "we are out of paper towels" and he'll say "no we're good." And we get home and there's no paper towels. It really bothers me. So it happened again tonight and he didn't apologize.

So later he found out his swim trunks are too tight and he seemed down. So I asked if he was upset about his shorts and he was like yeah and I said are you upset at all about earlier, joking about not getting the lottery ticket and stuff? And he's like no not at all. I don't feel bad about that it's just about the shorts.

I started to get mad and I said well you should feel bad because I feel bad and you know that hurts my feelings.

I didn't say anything else about it and neither did he.

Later I go to tuck our youngest in and there on the floor is his packed backpack for travel. I asked my husband "why do all the kids have packed bags? Remember earlier when I explained that I wanted to wash and dry everything and fold it and check it off the list as we pack it? You don't even know how many shirts they're bringing" (come to find out 1 kiddo only packed one shirt so had I not checked it would have been a mess) his response "I don't remember that. Sorry".

Ladies....I lost it. I am so mad. I popped off on him and said that he's not helping, he's breaking down the system I'm trying to put in place, I'm working full time and he's the stay at home parent. I told him he's not listening, he's not trying to be organized, and since he checked all the boxes on all the pages I literally have to rewrite them all. I don't have time for this. I am trying to not only meet deadlines at work but actually trying to get ahead so that I can have a vacation too next week and not have to bring my work laptop.

I just feel like he's not even trying to help.

He started making faces at me and wrinkling his nose up looking like something smelled bad or tasted bad when I was talking to him about it and it pushed me over the edge. I told him "get out of my house right now. I don't want you here" I've never referred to the house as mine before either but to ight I am feeling that way. I literally pay for everything with the money I make. The mortgage, car payments, internet, cell phones, groceries, everything. He doesn't help meal plan, he doesn't help with budgeting, he doesn't help with organization or routines for the kids. He does cook sometimes and he does clean though.

he left probably been twenty minutes ago. He left his phone and I don't even care right now.

Am I being too sensitive? Too ocd? Too over the top.

Please check me.