Postpartum or Did I Wake Up (LONG POST)

I have three step kids and now that I have my first child with their father (7weeks old), I am starting to resent him and the kids. Is it my postpartum hormones or am I seeing a side that I was ignoring this whole time?

Bio-mom had kids to keep men in her life and now that she is divorced twice, she has no use for her kids. She has no custody of his three kids or her two kids with her second ex-husband. She never wants the older three unless she has the younger two so they can watch them for her. Therefore, they are now with us CONSTANTLY!! (17, 15, 12).

I had to labor in front of them with back labor, mind you. No privacy, no peace and quiet. Then, the last night at the hospital after an emergency c-section, my husband leaves me to go stay with his 12 year old since the older two wanted to go to their mom’s for once and the 12 year simply did not want to. I feel my husband should have put his foot down and made the older two stay or sent the 12 year old there for the night.

With the kids at the house 24/7, my husband comes home, takes one on a hike, then expects me to have dinner ready and the kitchen clean from the mess his kids left that day while I am caring for a 7 week old, after dinner goes swimming with the youngest, and then heads to bed. I am lucky if he goes on a walk for 15 minutes with me and the baby.

Last night, he had dinner with his kids that I prepared while I fed the baby. When the baby is done, he then kindly, asked if I wanted him to hold the baby so I could eat. That would be great! Not even five minutes in, the 12 year old is demanding that he go swimming. DAD IS HOLDING HIS BABY, KID!! My husband just kept saying give me a minute. Would say that he was holding his son or that he wanted to let me eat. Finally, I said I would take the baby and he did not hesitate to hand him over while I attempted to finish my meal one-handed. I feel he is scared that if he makes any time for me and the baby or acknowledges our needs, he is letting down his first three. I keep thinking of how he will treat my child in the future, as everyone gets older. This was not what he promised me. The kids were supposed to go to their mom’s this summer - didn’t happen. He would be help with cleaning and dinners - didn’t happen. Claims the baby and I are the most important things to him - not showing it.

I dream of taking my son and leaving. Is this normal? Do I need someone hard truth throw at me?