Last night I went over to my boyfriends house to surprise him. I went with his favorite food and a movie to watch, but when I got there he wasn’t there. His neighbor in his apartment complex told me he drove off with someone a little while ago, so curious I stayed. He got home two hours later. He pulled up in a car with some other girl and was noticeably drunk.

He tried saying nothing happened, but even so I find going with another girl that he’s never been friends with disrespectful. Upon further investigation (going through his phone when he was drunk) I find out he’s been messaging this girl, along with many others, and has even gotten physical with them. One of these girls that he apparently had sex with, was a “friend” that I knew since him and I got together. She’d hang out with us, keep me company, invite us to parties, and was overall so friendly to me. I truly thought of her as my own friend as well as his, and I didn’t think I ever had anything to worry about between the two of them. They both said they thought of each other as “family”.

I wanted to break his phone, yell at him, cry, etc. but instead I just left his phone there with a note saying I saw everything and it was over . I left him asleep and was going home.

As I was leaving his best friend that stays with him was getting there. He saw me upset so asked what was wrong. I tell him everything and we just start talking the rest of the night. It honestly felt so good to have someone to speak to. Maybe it was the fact that I was hurt, angry, that I felt heard, that his friend was telling me everything I wanted to hear but we ended up having sex.

At first I told him we shouldn’t, because despite everything that happened I still felt like I was the one cheating or betraying my now ex boyfriends trust. But then in my mind I saw all those messages between him and other girls in his phone, all those provocative nudes and sexts that were sent to him, and I just “gave in”.

I wish I could say I regretted it or that it was horrible or that I felt bad. But it was honestly some of the best sex I ever had. I still feel like a fool for getting cheated on right in front of my face, but somehow this makes me feel a little better. Like I can move on without wallowing in self pity, because I know that there’s more out there. So maybe I took it too far by sleeping with his best friend in his house while he was asleep. But damn does it feel good. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️