I’m here to tell my story. A hard story to tell but one that needs to be put out there. In February of 2017 I had my first miscarriage, no one prepared me for the emotional and physical pain I would feel. Though I wasn’t in a good place with the man I was with at the time, I was excited when I saw that line. My heart stopped and I knew in that moment I was going to love that baby with every ounce of my soul. One day after I saw that line I started bleeding, experiencing “contractions”, feeling a life start to drain out of me. I was broken. My heart shattered. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about that day. Fast forward two years later an incredible man and life. Between July 13th-16th, 2019, I had taken SIX positive tests, and on the morning of the 17th (the day after my birthday) I woke and took another test, just to see my line progression. Only this time there was no line. Not even a hint of one. My heart dropped and even though I knew what that meant I took two other tests just to be sure, both negative. I raced to the ER and was treated incredibly poorly (but that’s a story for another time) was given another urine test (negative) and a pelvic exam. The doctor told me my cervix was low but it was closed so that was a good sign. He took some blood work and told me to go home and he would call me that afternoon. I will never forget that call, he told me my levels were low and that once they reached lower levels I would pass my baby. Today I started bleeding, feeling yet another life drain out of me. Feeling like my body is betraying me. Feeling like I’m not capable of doing exactly what I was created to do. Today I am sad, I am angry, and I am lost. But today I also realized that miscarriages are still taboo in 2019, no one talks about them. You feel like you’re completely alone in the process, and I am here to say, my names Robyn and I am the 1 of 4, and we are a bigger club than you think.

Wishing anyone who is going through what I am, peace and know that you are not alone.