so my bf of four years and i are expected a little girl this september. he has been abusive to me in the past and i stayed. i know i shouldn’t have but i am so deeply in love with him every time i try things get better for a moment and i go back it’s like he’s a drug or something. i feel so weak because i know i can’t get away from him and he knows i love him too deeply to leave. he has been my first EVERYTHING. recently he’s been going out with his friends 24/7 doesnt have a job or any money saved up for our child. when i complain that he needs to stop going out as much and look for a job or spend more time with me before her arrival he gets angry and yells at me and calls me names. it absolutely breaks my heart. luckily i’m staying at my parents and they are helping me out. I feel like such an idiot and i cry myself to sleep every night because i wish i could be without him i try so hard and i can’t and i definitely think people won’t understand until you’ve been in this situation. i have 0 friends literally NO ONE i could talk to hangout with so my life revolves around him when i’m not with him i sit at home and do nothing because i have no one. i feel so lost and i know everyone’s going to tell me to leave but it’s easier said than done my emotional pain is starting to make me physically hurt i don’t even know what to do anymore. i’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense it’s 2 am and i’m just really upset and i need to vent so bad