Why Do I Hate Being Single??

Alright. I’ve been single for about 7 months now, and at first I felt so empowered, but now... it’s almost mentally excruciating every morning, waking up alone. I have dated over ten people. I miss one of my exes, and have an ex who was sexually/mentally abusive, and I just feel like I have so much baggage. I’m trying to feel better about myself but my mental health has plummeted and I’ve been feeling so numb lately. I haven’t been able to see friends, and I don’t feel myself around family anymore. I changed my name, and my family doesn’t respect my choice, and I just UGH! So much is happening, and my mind is going insane. I don’t want to be crazy, I don’t want to be single, I don’t want to feel so terrible. I’ve wanted to indulge in self harm again, and I’m struggling with another eating disorder. Does anyone else get like this? How do I stop it from happening over and over? And why does being single feel so shitty?!

Also wow I hate that this is my first post on eve. Send help 🤦🏼‍♀️