Do you still have alone time with your partner after having kids?

Question

So my husband and I have been talking about maybe TTC in the near future. We have been married for 5 years. Something that’s holding me back though is we have such a healthy and happy relationship. We make time for each other, go out on dates once or twice a month. We have a very healthy and fun sex life. I don’t want all of that to end when we have kids.. I know we won’t be able to do near as much when we have children obviously and that’s fine, but when I told one of my friends we were thinking about TTC she said “say goodbye to alone time with eachother because you’ll never have time for eachother again” and that it ruined her relationship,and that really is starting to put me off having a baby.. 😕 I want one and I want to start a family with my husband, but I also don’t want it to ruin our marriage.

Answer

Becoming a parent changes your life and your marriage. Seeing my husband loving and caring for our children has given me a deeper and more intimate love for him than ever before. There’s definitely times when you have to get inventive to make time for one another but that just makes it fun. Always date one another, even if that means putting the kids to bed early to have a movie night on the couch. The biggest word of advice I give new parents is that although it will be very easy to get consumed with your children, it is vital to make a conscious effort to continue to put your marriage first.

Answer

Get a good baby sitter. We use my mother in law. When she's older (she's only 11 months old now) and not as clingy I will look into babysitters on care.com or something so we can have a local sitter as well (his mom lives 1.5 hours away). As long as you have someone you trust to watch your kids, you should be fine.

Answer

My SO and I have 2 kids and we always make time for each other. We have date nights twice a month and one weekend every other month we have an entire weekend to ourselves. That’s very important in a relationship no matter how many kids you have. Our sex life is still amazing. So as long as you put in the effort with each other having kids shouldn’t make a difference.

Answer

Becoming parents changed our relationship but not in a bad way. I feel like generally when it “ruins” relationships it’s because either the relationship wasn’t strong to begin with or someone doesn’t do their part with raising the child making the other parent resentful. My husband is such a wonderful father, and watching him play and care for our child is incredible sexy to me. It is all 50/50 in our household. We do get alone time still, because we have wonderful family we trust with our son. So when we wanna go out for supper or to a party for a night we leave him with his grandma/nanny. And he loves it. Also he’s 3 now so asleep in his own room at 8 and sleeps all night so we have an hour or two before bed alone (until our next baby comes in 7 weeks!). Of course this is my experience and opinion but it didn’t hurt our relationship at all. We will celebrate our first wedding anniversary in September and 10 years together in December ❤️

Answer

Just make a concentrated effort to spend time together. I'm 37w pregnant and we don't have sex as often (because I'm huge) but our sex life is still good. We just went on a date last night and another the Saturday before. We're lucky enough to have a huge nearby support system so we know that when we need some time alone, we'll be able to get it.

Answer

It changes but not in a bad way. You guys just gotta make sure to take time for you two without  your child and still schedule date nights and get a babysitter. We have 2 under 2 and we get our time alone during their naps or after they have gone to bed for the night.

Answer

Sometimes not as much I would like. Our LO is 14 months so it’s challenging.

Answer

I’m a new mom and I’ll admit it has been hard to have time together. I’ve kinda mourned the loss of just us but I’ve waited for a family for many years (I’m 38). You’ll just have to make sure to carve out time for each other and not to give up easily if things get tough. If you want children, I wouldn’t not have them because you’re afraid it will ruin your marriage.

Answer

Just because that’s how she feels about her life/situation, doesn’t mean that’s how it will be for you guys!

Do you still have alone time with your partner after having kids?

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