I don’t know where else to put this.. I just feel so bad about it. I’m fertile, but I have less than a 1% chance of ever carrying a baby to term due to a genetic disorder. I’ve had 5 miscarriages. I’m in a stable relationship but we’re not ready for kids. I’m on birth control, we use the family planning method and he pulls out every time. I just found out that somehow a little swimmer snuck past ALL that and I’m pregnant. I don’t want to be pregnant (hence all the prevention methods). We’re supposed to be celebrating a friend this weekend with a considerable amount of alcohol. I’m considering not telling anyone I’m pregnant and going out anyway. The chances of me miscarrying are so high, I’d hate to miss our on this event just to regret it later and on top of that I’m less than 4 weeks (I know my body well and I knew something was off- tested for peace of mind). So even if by some miracle I did carry the baby to term, the alcohol wouldn’t affect anything at this point. I feel like a complete shit human for thinking this way but 5 miscarriages later I have no hope and I don’t want to miss out on anymore of my life for no reason.