I woke up yesterday i had heavy brown bleeding at 5 weeks 2 days pregnant. I went to the ER got blood work done and my levels were right where they were suppose to be and then got an internal ultrasound done. they were able to see my little baby in my uterus which looked like an egg yolk of course, they said it was up high and still attached. as my nerves started to calm & I got excited and snatched a photo of my baby, I got discharged and sent home in the hopes my baby was okay and it’ll stay that way.

my bleeding settled down a lot. I took a nap completely exhausted and woke up an hour later to find out I was gushing bright red blood out including clots. (I was not in any pain through this no cramping no back ache yet) I ended up filling pads in 20 minutes. freaked out and called my OB and she wanted me to be seen by the ER I was planning on delivering at.

they did another internal ultrasound and after the doctor looked over the ultrasound pictures the nurse and doctor sat by my bed side to give me the awful news that my baby was no longer in my uterus. all that’s left is fluid, blood and tissue.

i’ve been an emotional wreck ever since. I cannot believe this is even real. early doesn’t make it any easier it’s still a baby. I was suppose to watch it grow in my belly and feel it’s little kicks. i haven’t had an appetite. I keep having breakdowns and nothing seems to make me feel better. Of course the only person I want to be with right now is my boyfriend who is out of state currently.

does it get easier. and how long did it take you mamas to get your rainbow babies?