I don’t even know how to start this and I’m going to apologize now for the long post and rambling.

I had been seeing a man for 8 years mostly long distance with visits and recently we got engaged and I moved in with him. We’ve had our ups and downs and have broken up before but things were good I thought. We just found out we were pregnant and went to our 8 week appointment yesterday. I was irritable and nauseous and it ended up starting a fight afterward.

By the end of last night he revealed to me that the “roommate” he had and told me only moved in 4 years ago, was actually his wife. His wife that he’d been married to for 15 YEARS! He showed me the divorce paperwork and that it was final May of this year. We got engaged last October.

I essentially found out I was the other woman and an affair for 8 years. Yes I know I was stupid and yes I know I was naive but I never thought this would happen to me. I’m absolutely devastated. I’m carrying the child of a man who cheated with me on his wife for years and years.

He told me his marriage has been over for years and they only stayed together for financial reasons. He says he left her for me and is begging me to stay because he loves me and wants a family with me. But how could I stay. Now could I ever trust him or think he wouldn’t do the same thing to me?

A move back home is 800 miles away and I’m terrified to be the laughing stock of my family if I go home. I left everything behind for him and I’m broken.

I have looked up abortion clinics because I can’t have his baby. It would destroy me even more.

I was so happy yesterday. What did I do to deserve this?