I’ve always had anxiety and depression, but it wasn’t until after I had my son 9 months ago where it became crippling. I am being treated for it and have been since I had my son. But it’s really bad. There are some days where I literally cannot do anything.
I can’t process decisions or thoughts correctly. Like I can’t make up my mind if you ask me “do you want chicken or turkey?” I legit cannot answer. It’s like my mind knows I have to make a decision, but it just shuts down and I start panicking. I cannot choose.
Sometimes I can’t wear my glasses or certain fabrics of clothes because it makes me feel claustrophobic. I have to take them off and not wear them because I cannot function and start panicking.
I have gone days without showers because 1. Being in the shower causes ptsd and 2. The water on my body gives me the “hibby gibbies” idk how else to explain it. I can’t give my baby baths, but I just cannot get myself to get in the shower and have water on me.
I always think someone is going to hurt me or my son. Like if we’re out and a stranger walks next to us too closely I think they are going to stab us or take us and I have to leave away from them and stand someone where there are a lot of people until I feel safe enough to go to my car and go home.
These are just a couple of examples. I just want to know I’m not alone and maybe if someone has some advice. There’s way to that I feel and go thru but I thought these were some examples that could explain.
Like I said. I am being treated and go to therapy for ptsd, depression and anxiety. But when will this end. I don’t remember what it’s like to feel normal.