For the past week I’ve been obsessing over ways to get you out. Over how I’m going to ask my doctor what I can do to get you out quicker. I’ve obsessed over spending too much of maternity leave being at home, still pregnant, rather than with you. I’ve complained about how much pain I’m in at night, and how uncomfortable I am during the day. I’ve cried over the fact that mommies have gone into labor on their own and are able to hold their babies and I’m still here, pregnant longer than they have been.

But how selfish can I be?

I have gotten to carry you full term. Some women can’t carry at all. Some have carried and delivered way too early. Some have carried and lost.

I don’t know what day you’ll be here but what I do know is that these are the final days I’m ever going to have you all to myself. The final days where I know 100% that I have ahold of you and and can keep you safe. One day you’ll be off to kindergarten, high school, college. One day you won’t even be a baby anymore. I won’t get to take baths and feel you roll back in forth while I lay here. I won’t get to feel your kicks when your daddy and I are laying in bed talking to each other. I already feel like you have such a personality and I’ve gotten to know you just by being in my belly. This time is so precious and if I have to wait a little longer for you than I will. I’ll wait as long as it takes. You’re happy being with mommy right now and I’m happy to hold you for as long as you wish 💙 I love you my sweet baby Bradley.