So my husband and I met 2 years ago and he finally has been able to get his daughter during the summers. This is my second summer with her and she is almost 3 years old. I also have a 5 year old from a previous relationship.

My husband is in the Navy and he had went on a mini trip for a few days with his ship. While he left, she completely would ignore me and acted like a baby. Any instruction I would give, she would automatically cry. For example) go sit on the potty, pull up your underwear (potty training because mom didn't attempt even though she was more than ready), go put your plate away. Any direction I gave, she would straight out whine about it and not use her words. When we first got her this summer, she hardly spoke and we have worked with her alot and she has been using more words versus just crying and pointing at things. Mom does baby her a lot and does everything for her. I think she was expecting me to do the same since she realized dad was gone. It made it really difficult to build that bond with her, because I do discipline my child and treat them equally. I just feel like she hates me because I don't treat her like a baby like her mom does. But that isn't letting her grow.

Now it has progressed into when dad is at work, she will absolutely ignore me or act like she can't speak (just moves her mouth) and then cries when I tell her do anything. This completely breaks my heart because I want to treat my kids all the same, but I feel like I'm honestly ruining my relationship with her because she expects me to be treating her like her mom.

But you guys, her mom has enabled her so much. She always sticks her in a stroller, never let's her walk, always does everything for her. When we got her a few months ago we were all running outside and she could not do it! She was crying about running!! We worked with her over the summer and now she runs so much better and doesn't cry about it. I feel bad that mom isn't letting her shine on her own and allowing her to grow. But mom does not like talking about anything and takes everything we bring up as an attack against how she parents. She only knew the color blue when we got her a few months ago and now knows more colors and words now that I have worked with her. We have progressed with her so much and it is just going to go down the drain when she goes back with mom.

Have any of you had any backlash with your bonus kids? I mean she's only almost 3 and I'm already so sad that she has been ignoring me on purpose. I know it's on purpose because it has been when dad isn't home and when he gets home, she starts using words and not acting like a baby.

When the new baby comes, new baby will be treated the same as my son and his sister when she comes to us in the summers. I want then all to be able to use their words and follow the same rules under our household. I do not want to baby her just because her mom does, as that goes against what we want for our kids. I really feel like she will hate me, but If I treat her differently, it's not fair to ther other kids. I also feel like she will tell her mom that I'm so horrible when I actually care about her individuality and I want her to shine. I've seen such progress with her every summer we get and she has grown tremendously. Just sad and emotional, especially since I'm pregnant now. I know she is trying to get over on me, because when dad is home, she doesn't act like that and speaks up. I just feel like I'm set up for failure and it really breaks my heart that she expects me to baby her just because I am the mommy role model here at our house.