It hurts too much and everynight i can't sleep with depression and i am silently crying. TTC #1 for over 4 years with PCOS. I am 31 and my husband is 36.

Feeling bad for my loving husband , he loves children very much even before we got married. I feel disappointed in myself for not able to give him his own child.

He takes care of our cousins children very

Nicely and all our relatives would say that i am lucky to have him as a husband when we got married. Well 4 years passed by after marriage trying every trick in the book to conceive. He got his sperm analysis done twice and everything was perfect. It was all due to my PCOS and i had it since i was 14.

I try to stay positive for my husband , my only happiness right now but sometimes i wonder if he would have been happy with someone else.

I get more and more depressed seeing close relatives with 2-3 children and one person even being neglectful of their newborn

I dont want to see them anymore, it hurts too much, breaks my heart

Tears well up now whenever i see a babys picture anywhere like even in an advertisement, i cant bear it anymore

I Tried Metformin, Clomid, Femara, GonalF

Only ovulated 2 times in one year with clomid+gonal F, but not even a scent of pregnancy.

I was so hopeful on my last cycle when a follicular scan showed 2 big follicles which i ovulated successfuly but i cried 3 days straight when my periods came.

When my husband so me too broken hearted , he said we should discontinue treatment for few months and let it happen when it happen. He was always concerned about all the hormones and medications i was forced to take.

I am on cycle day 13 and can't help thinking if i had taken Clomid and gonal f , i would have been ovulating in one or 2 days, but since i did not take my medication i am 100% sure that i will not even ovulate.

I feel like i am loosing time

I am an emotional wreak, not interested even to talk to anyone except my husband, just want to stay under my blanket all day .

I am feeling a bit better after typing everything down.

Thank you for listening

💙💜💚