Struggling with depression/anxiety

I’m going to start off by saying I placed a call into my doctor again because current meds are not helping.

I feel like I’m failing in every aspect of my life at this point. I know deep down I’m struggling but when it comes to my son I will do any and everything for him. He’s the reason I get out of bed at all or smile/laugh.

I’ve gone through 3 jobs because I can’t deal with being away from my son. My anxiety increases to where I can’t function and I feel sick. He’s with my mother, whom I completely trust, it’s my issue and not sure how to work through.

I’m depressed because I should be further and better established than I am presently. I should be able to bounce back and hop back into work like everyone else and not feel guilty or anxious but I do. I’m not doing enough for him, my fiancé, our home, not myself. I shower maybe once or twice a week. I focus solely on my son or helping my fiancé get through his emotional distress. I hate asking for help and sometimes I don’t feel I should.

My fiancé isn’t a bad guy but recent choices he’s made has come to light, due to my snooping that has increased my anxiety and depression. Now with all I’m feeling I need to figure out how to let go of the hurt and move forward since I want to try and make it work. Im in love with him.

I need to pull myself out of this darkness. Find a job that makes me happy and be more at ease with leaving my son. I’m over crying, over eating or not eating at all, overthinking and stressing about things either I have no control over or fears that are ridiculous.

Maybe finding me again little by little and finding something I enjoy doing is what I need but finding the energy to leave the house or my son is what I need to work on.

I’m lost and my family, fiancé, and friends are supportive but ultimately I think I’m going to be the only person to bring myself out of this terrible funk. Just need to find the energy and strength to take my life back.

I in no way want to hurt myself or my child but positive stories of coming out of the darkness and living happily ever after !