I posted about going to the doctors yesterday to talk about my anxiety and depression and this is what happened.

Me: “I wanted to talk to you about anxiety and depression” ‬

Doctor: “You could try to make yourself go out and do things you like more!” ‬

Me: “I try but even if I want to go, I have a really hard time going. I have to force myself to even go to the store.” ‬

Doctor: “Well you can try harder!”‬

‪Me: ...‬

‪Doctor: “Meditation?” ‬

Me: “I have been feeling like this since probably 6th grade (20 now) and I didn’t really know it was a problem. I thought everyone felt like this”

Doctor: “I could treat you with medication but I think you can just push yourself to go out and do things out like.”

This is why I hate going to doctors, they never listen. I now know I have a problem. And I want to fix myself.

When I was younger, I couldn’t get myself to shower or brush my teeth, do laundry, my hair was so matted into a bun that I almost had to cut it off, I never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, I overthink everything therefore I’m like the most emotional bitch. I have an amazing boyfriend now who I live with and I have really improved like take a shower and brush my teeth everyday, keep our apartment clean (even though I have to force myself to get up because I don’t want him to see me as lazy.) I only have a part time job at the moment so I pay half of rent and keep our place clean and he pays all the bills and works 160 hours in two weeks (about six 12 hours days a week) so I feel like this is my way of contributing and I still wait until the very last minute to clean. I never go out to my friends anymore, I make plans then cancel when they come up. I don’t know how she doesn’t see a problem. This isn’t normal. I reach out and she doesn’t believe me so what was the point of reaching out....