I wonder is rape considered as loosing your virginity. Some say it is some say it’s not. Some even say that u can’t lose ur virginity to a girl(I’m lesbian). All this is racing in my mind. The emotions on everything that happened and has happened. I feel so lost and confused in this world. Sometimes alone. My girlfriend helps with this but some things I can’t tell her afraid it’s gonna hurt her. I’m 14 and I’ve been through so much hell more than some adults have ever been through. I wrote music as an outlit and sometimes I draw or just dance. But everything is changing. Not really my music. My girlfriend has brought the best out of me. I stopped cutting for her but everything rushing back I kinda relapsed and started cutting agian. She doesn’t know I’m afraid of hurting her. I’ve been in trauma therapy but t stopped going. IK ASHAMED OF MYSELF. I don’t blame anyone. I just really wish someone besides my girlfriend would care.