This is my 5th loss at least that I’ve for sure caught since having my 18 month old son.

I cannot believe that this happened yet again. My doc thought all these losses are due to lupus. I wanna scream I wanna bawl for days but I gotta keep going and stand strong. School starts soon I registered for classes a month ago online. I am 34 years old and pray we can have another. I’m so down right now. Like this just keeps happening and I wouldn’t even know I’m preg the majority of these if I was not one to get super early symptoms and early tests. I took multiple tests all positive except the last few. I lost my nausea symptoms and smell food aversions but blew it off since symptoms came and went with my son and was only a day without. Well I started spotting and thought okay all Amy be alright took another test faint faint line I thought but was an indent... I took that test apart ,then lost a pen point dot clot then peed agains on full on bleeding. 😢 I have 8 tests and all but 2 are positives. FRER and cheapies. I posted the darkest positive I got and easiest to see. Gonna throw these out also. Hurts too much to keep seeing them. I just pray this happens for us my son needs and wants a sibling. We want another and my heart just hearts right now so badly. I feel inadequate. I had a loss in 2007 right at 12 weeks after being on at home Ivs I was so sick from day 1. Baby’s heart stopped. 7 years of trying with my now husband and we miscarried our first right after we found out. My hcg started dropping. Few weeks later preg with our son! Our miracle. I have pcos also and he has sperm motility and morphology issues. We were told it wouldn’t happen on our own. <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> only. But it did happen! We had tried 3 rounds of clomid prior and nothing. I changed everything I did and used. Less toxins in everything. Ate better more alkaline diet and more water. I felt better after that loss before him and he was here to stay from the get go I had super high hcg very early on! Doc said this one isn’t going anywhere I know you’re scared but I promise this baby is staying and he did! Super healthy , smart happy boy. I’m very thankful as some don’t even get that 1 and feel bad begging for another but I just hope it happens and I cannot bare anymore losses at all no matter how early on these are it still hurts and idc what people may say I feel it’s a baby from conception. Our baby’s i will one day meet in heaven. Keeping it together around children is just so hard. If I bawl it really may not stop. Here’s to hope and faith cause I gotta just keep on going right now no matter what and keep it all together. It CAN happen it has before and will ...right.

Side note.. I know my ring needs cleaned. I had just cleaned up my sons messy lunch and normally take it off to do so and hadn’t that day. 😆