I am officially no longer breastfeeding or pumping, therefore I am saying goodbye to this group of lovely ladies. Formula is the best thing for my family. My baby girl is going to grow and love me whether or not she is breastfed. After a few days of bawling my eyes out over stopping to breastfeed, I am at peace with my decision and am ready to move forward.  Thank you for your support, and I wish you all a good milk supply!

Here is my story:

Breastfeeding has been traumatic for me. Our first night home, baby girl screamed all night and was only happy on the breast. She would latch and suck perfectly. I had no idea she wasn't getting any milk. That night I had 30 minutes of sleep. That week we had 4 visits with the lactation consultant. I would pump and only get drops of milk so we supplemented with formula. After about a week, my pumping sessions got better. I've posted several times to this group about my progress. 20 mls total after 20 minutes of pumping. After a few days, I would get 40ml total. But the milk collection was inconsistent.  I decided that I would nurse for comfort and to bond, feed pumped milk, and still continue to supplement with formula. One morning I nursed for an hour, and still had to give baby girl 2 oz of formula. I felt like a failure. A few days passed and I slowly stopped breastfeeding and pumping. I was terrified of her not getting enough to eat, so I avoided it. I emotionally couldn't handle the stress. I hated myself for giving up, because I have always wanted to breastfeed. Yes, I know that breast is best. But as I said before, this is the best decision for my family, and we are moving forward with formula.