To the mama in line behind me at Starbucks In Target,

I see you. With your two oldest in tow. Your youngest whose crying in the cart. Sounds like a newborn cry & I didn’t even need to look to know that . Your oldest, they’re driving you nuts... I can tell , the people around you can tell (majority women) those people are all smiling, glad to see the chaos that you’re dealing with because it reminds them of what was once their chaos too . You are now voicing your annoyance with them . Saying things like “oh my gosh you’re on my nerves today. Stop touching everything . Just stop ! God , you guys are annoying me.”

I am almost 110% that you didn’t notice me . Watching while waiting for my drink to be made . And that’s okay , I didn’t expect you to with all of that going on. But.....

I would give anything in this world right now to still be looking forward to more chaos that was to be mine . It would look like yours so much . See I have two boys already , but my last little angel would still be forming perfectly in my belly for a few more months . Unfortunately God had other plans for my baby & took him/her away from me .

Now, I don’t expect you to know that or to feel bad for me . I just want you to know how lucky you are to have THAT chaos , while there is women like me who would do anything to have it happening to them .

They are only that small for so long . Please cherish them , you have no idea how lucky you are to be their mama.

Signed,

The woman mourning a loss/ crying secretly in a Target aisle.