Help! Need advice

Ok so I’ve been seeing this guy since January of this year and when I first met him I wasn’t really attracted to him at all. I was just trying to get over my ex because several people had told me, sometimes you gotta get under one to get over one. That’s bad advice for anyone who’s heard that. Don’t listen. Makes it worse. Anyway, we met for the first time in January of 2018 and hooked up a couple times but there wasn’t any communication after that...until this year when I broke up with my ex. So he is a crip which already makes me uneasy because well, he’s in a gang. He’s killed before which scares me. He had a very short temper and doesn’t handle anything well at all. He dropped his phone and the corner got cracked so he started hitting a brick wall which I think is a major over reaction.

He got dumped by his ex of a few years I think, and all he talks about is how she did him wrong, would always say mean stuff to him, was cheating on him with several guys, etc... All he ever talks about is weed, crips, nipsey hustle and his ex. It’s irritating and I’ve talked about it with him but nothing ever changes.

First off, I don’t like dating smokers, all he’s ever focused on is where to get more weed and when he can light up another blunt again. He has the memory and attention span of a gnat, he can’t hold a conversation, dudes got extremely limited intelligence, has no goals or aspirations, doesn’t have any kind of skills what so ever that could ever get him a job, won’t stop smoking weed so he can’t pass a drug test, he’s obsessed with his ex, he never helps pay for anything and nothing is ever his fault.

Saying he’s mentally fragile doesn’t do him justice. He’s really sweet to me and unfortunately he’s deeply in love with me. I love him as a friend but I’m definitely not in love with him at all. I will say it’s the best sex i think I’ve ever had but that’s not a reason to keep someone around. We live in 2 different cities which are hours apart, neither one of us has a car, I can’t find a job and I just moved into a dorm on campus. I’ve used all my savings buying bus tickets, lyfts and a hotel room over the past 2 months. I don’t want to see him anymore, but I’m worried what he’s gonna do when I break up with him.

I don’t know how to let him down gently without him freaking out, going crazy and doing really dumb stuff. He’s the kind of person who would get himself locked up in less than an hour. He’s a pushover so he never stands up for himself which is turnoff to begin with, he wastes every penny he makes on weed, he can’t follow simple instructions and he’s gonna be in the exact same place when I graduate in 3 years. He doesn’t know what a hard days work feels like and he complains about everything. I feel like I’m babysitting when I’m around him. He’s a total slob too which freaks me out cause I’m OCD and I never leave trash just lying around because that’s gross. Everything has its place.

He’s such a sweet heart to me and it’s gonna break my heart to break his but I have to think of my future. We live in different cities, he’s not going anywhere in life, he’s in a gang and carries a strap, he smokes weed a lot, and he couldn’t survive on his own for a day. Even if we did stay together, what kind of future would that be? If we had a family, we’d have targets on our backs because he’s a crip, he would still be making minimum wage workin on the food line in a restaurant, he doesn’t know how to drive and he’s 26, I’d be the only one bringing any money in, I can’t trust him to watch the kids because he can’t focus or remember anything and id constantly be worried. I’d trust a baby sitter before I’d trust him. I think that says a lot that Id trust a total stranger before I’d trust a guy I’ve known for over a year and a half and in the future had kids with. Doesn’t know how to cook, clean, or do laundry. He’s been pampered his whole life and doesn’t do anything for himself. He thinks he’s entitled to a better life without having to work for it and blames the government for everything that’s happened to him. Which that parts annoying too because for gods sake take responsibility for your actions and quit blaming everyone else for your dumb choices and mistakes.

I need y’alls help and advice on how to get him out of my life. I want him gone but carefully so he doesn’t go mental and do stupid stuff. I want to be free to date intelligent men who can take care of themselves and have a better future than working at McDonald’s for the rest of their lives.