this is my world he rly means everything to me but i fucked up.... back in April i cheated on him. and before you start thinking oh she’s a horrible person ik already you don’t need to remind me. one night i had one of my friends over and she thought it would be a good idea for us to hangout with a guy she rly liked and his friend... well during that time i was in a very depressed state and working through an eating disorder so i was in a very low place it was the first time i had hung out with ppl in months... i thought it might make me feel better so i let them come over. the guy she liked ended up coming on to me and flirt with me. it made me feel better about myself and made me feel loved. he kissed me and i freaked out and told him i had a boyfriend and he said that he wouldn’t find out... so things progressed and we ended up sleeping together. the next day i felt worse then i ever have. i laid in bed feeling numb and disgusting that night i tried to end my life for the like 8th time. i took a lot of pain meds and ended up getting sick from them which was anything new because of the eating disorder. a couple days later i told my counselor because i didn’t know what to do. she helped me tell my mom and me and her worked on telling my boyfriend at the time. it’s not 3 months later and the truth finally came out. (him and i are not together right now because i didn’t feel right dating him until he knew everything.) a couple night ago one of my ex’s bestfriends i trusted my life with called and told him what happened that night and said a lot of nasty things. well he ended up asking my brother if it was true and my brother didn’t feel right lying (which i understand because they are bestfriends) so he told him. ever since then we’ve talked once and i’m very worried. i talked to him today and all he said was that he loved me and we’d talk in person so i’m hoping that’s good. but this whole thing being brought up again is very difficult on me i feel myself slipping into a depressed state again. and it doesn’t help that my two ex’s bestfriends are texting me sayin shit. but hey that being a girl right. well thank you if u read all this and help please

(the guy i’ve kinda been with for 8 months)

(my ex bestfriends sayin shit)