Feeling alone and sad

So, I just recently have been dealing with my rape (that happened when I was 3).

I decided to tell my husband, and yesterday we had a fight because I have been behaving a little aggressive towards him. ( I haven't been aware of that).

During the argument I said that I understand the fact that he doesn't have to deal with this, and that he just wants to be happy and calm; and I do get it. I guess right now I'm not a pleasant person, and maybe I have to go to my dad's house, so somebody takes care of me.

I just feel so alone, and sad because when we got married I wanted to make him happy. I know I am doing the opposite but I am such a mess right now. I don't know what to do.