UPDATED Boyfriend says I’m ungrateful.

My boyfriend has currently locked himself in our guest bedroom for the night to let me “think about what I’ve done because I’m ungrateful and mouthy”

This all started this morning when he fixed the vacuum cleaner. I thanked him repeatedly and then he spilled dirty vacuum water all over me and the white carpet. This however was fine with me and we laughed hysterically about it to the point of tears. We decided to go get a carpet cleaner and the soap for the machine. On the way to the store his mom told us we could just use her machine, MAJOR SAVINGS. We thanked her and were ecstatic about it. We picked it up and headed home.

After arriving home and moving every piece of furniture in our two bedroom home to one room the two of us set off on trying to figure out how to work the thing. Only to find out the machine was broken. Me, being quite a fix-it-lady said, this is no problem let me take it apart and figure the problem out. I take apart the machine and start to figure it out quickly and he is washing the parts to it in the sink. I figure out what is needed to fix and we go back to the store for supplies. We get everything fixed up with the exception of the need to let the silicon dry overnight to test in the morning. We are laughing and playing Mario cart(we are 21). Then I my back started to hurt so I left him to keep playing while I took a warm bath. A very common thing that happens in our home when I bath or use the bathroom is him pacing around annoying me. Asking for food, telling me stories or just bugging me to get out. Tonight was no different. He mentioned wanting dinner twice and keep in mind, in over a year of dating he has not cooked a single meal for himself or me, breakfast lunch or dinner. He will starve all day and complain I haven’t feed him. I asked so politely, “love if you make dinner I’ll give you the worlds best back rub when I’m done in the bath” he then asks me “what did you want” I tell him “nothing crazy like just something you can pop in the oven and leave in and I’ll get out and serve it up .” He looks in the freezer and then takes his clothes off like he normally does for bed and turns all the lights off and gets in bed. I ask “what are you doing?” He then says “going to bed, if you’re not gonna make me dinner I’m going to bed” he gets up and closes the bedroom door so the bathroom light doesn’t keep him awake I’d assume. I get out in a hurry to see if this is a joke or not and turn the light on and ask what he’s doing again. He tells me he thinks I’m ungrateful. He “helped” me clean the house all day (as if the mess is only mine) he says that he is going to bed and doesn’t see whats wrong with that. I process what is being said to me and say “lastnight when I was tired I made you food, kissed you goodnight, told you I loved you and went to bed. Tonight you didn’t get dinner and we’re tired and so you stormed into bed and told me I was ungrateful. Which one sounds like a positive and which one is a negative way to go about it? Which one do you think I deserve, because honey I’m worth a fuck ton more than the shit you just said to me. If you’re gonna do something crappy at least own up to it and don’t lie to my face about the real reason you got in bed, I was there and I’m not an idiot, you aren’t gonna manipulate me.” He gets up and tells me he needs space and I need to think about what ie done and that I have some thinking to do about how to talk to my man and that I get to sleep alone for being a “bad girl” and am too mouthy.

I am laying here wondering, should I have kept my mouth shut? Maybe I went to far and he’s right? Maybe I deserve to sleep alone because I was a shit girlfriend. Was I in the wrong?

UPDATE!!

So the day after he still didn’t speak to me. I heard him banging around grabbing the lunch to take to work I’d made the night before. He even went as far as to walk by our room (I was in there) with our cat in his hands talking to her saying “mom has been a bad girl and needs to be in a better mood by the time dad gets home or she is sleeping without us both again tonight.” My cat did sleep with me that night and does every time he’s done that in the past so idk what he was saying. She won’t sleep with out me.

Fast forward to the evening and I’m in the kitchen making dinner like I always do, and he gets home. He comes in sad again and perks up when he sees me in the kitchen. He gives me a kiss like he normally does which surprised me, then I try to go back to cooking and he grabs my face again for two more kisses. “One for this morning and one for lastnight” he says. I knew that was the best apology I’d get so I just said thank you. Then we ate and I started talking about how we both were in the wrong and that the whole thing could have been prevented by positive communication. I told him I understand that he was tired, and part of being his partner is that when he isn’t feeling good enough to do something I help him. And if I was in the same position I need to be able to count on him in that way. From now on we both need to work on approaching eachother positively and work out a solution together, not sulking locked in a different room. We aren’t children and we aren’t mother and son. We are partners and we need to communicate like we are and help eachother like we are. I need him to stop assuming I’ll do anything he wants just because he tells me to, I wanna be able to take a bath without gettin gun trouble for taking too long or have someone throw a child’s fit over it. I love this man and I don’t wanna lose him over cooking lol

Fast forward to today,

I’m in the shower, and he comes in and says “do you like sour cream with your burritos” and I FUCKING LOST IT CRYING. I was like Whaaat. Then he panicked because he didn’t get that they were happy tears. For once, he cooked something for me. It wasn’t fancy but it meant the world to me. He listened and that mattered to me. Hoping this trend continues and our communication keeps improving and he keeps helping when I need it.