Am I wrong for being uncomfortable....?

Question

My friends kid is 4 (almost 5) and still breastfeeds. I LOVE breastfeeding my 3mo but want to ween because I’m going back to work soon. And I’m all about moms breastfeeding for however long she feels like it..... to a certain extent! When I talked to my friend, she told me how she nurses her toddler daughter every night, and how cute it is when she asks for “milky time!!”
When I was over at her house last, her daughter kept trying and asking for ME to breastfeed her. My friend thought it was adorable and I was super uncomfortable.
I don’t want to go over anymore because I brought up that I didn’t find it cute and kept trying to get her daughter off my lap and she got all huffy.
This kid is almost in kindergarten. Am I wrong to feel like this is just TOO long to be breastfeeding? She’s going to be asking her teacher for it 😣
Help?!?

Accepted Answer

I breastfed all 3 of my sons, but the longest I nursed before weaning was just shy of when he was 20months old. That same boy is now 4.5 and I couldn’t imagine still nursing him at that age.... he’s a grown child by this point and speaks in full sentences and comprehends so much. The fact her daughter calls it “milky time” and is almost in kindergarten and the mom loves it is odd to me as well & a bit much to me, as this isn’t allowing her daughter to fully grow if she’s keeping her in this infantile stage. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nursing that long is obviously her choice, but I’m with you on this one.

Answer

I mean, I wouldn’t personally care how long SHE breastfeeds her kid. However, her daughter is old enough to know boundaries, and she’s not teaching them.
I wouldn’t be comfortable being there either.
Since she was huffy about you voicing your opinion, I would probably just end the friendship 💁🏼‍♀️
But that’s just me!!

Answer

The natural age for weaning in humans is somewhere between 4 and 7. So I mean yeah you’re wrong for judging her. 
But as for being uncomfortable, you’re not wrong. She should be teaching her daughter boundaries and explain that she doesn’t get milk from anyone but her mommy.

Answer

That would make me uncomfortable, too. Yeah, no one should judge, but I've always been of the opinion that if they can ask for a boob they're probably too old for it. Plus, I don't want someone else's kid getting on my lap asking me to give her one of my boobs.

Answer

You aren’t wrong for being uncomfortable over comments made towards you. I think your friend should teach her daughter about boundaries and that “milky time” is only from mom. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with her choosing to still nurse her child.

Answer

As someone who has nursed four babies and nursed a 4.5 year old, it’s really REALLY strange for a child over a few months old to expect to nurse from anyone else.
Is this a neurotypical child? That’s not cute behavior even for a 1 year old.

Answer

I personally get uncomfortable when a kid is still breast feeding after they’re old enough to ask for it, HOWEVER I recognize that’s a personal prejudice on my part.
BUT your friend should not be encouraging her child to be inappropriate with you; 4 is perfectly old enough to know better than to ask to breast feed from someone other than her mother. The fact that she got offended when you were uncomfortable is ridiculous.

Answer

Your Not wrong for feeling uncomfortable! I would be too!

Answer

You’ll probably get a lot of shit on here for sharing your opinion about this, but I can honestly agree with you. Whether it’s society that has made us uncomfortable with this or not, you’re allowed to feel that way. I would be uncomfortable seeing a four year old breastfeeding. I wouldn’t shame the mom or say anything of course, but I would just feel awkward. I would also be pretty annoyed if her kid wouldn’t get off my lap and got attitude when I said I wasn’t going to breastfeed her.

Answer

Personally yes I think that’s really long. But, I mean, to each their own....
My sister was breastfed until she was 4 and she was so dependent on my mom. She slept in my parents bed until she was 10. She cried after being dropped off at school until she was 10. Also, she is the pickiest eater and she is always getting some sort of cold or sickness. So the immunity thing and good eaters from long term breastfeeding is a total myth. Like your friend’s kid, my sister would also try and pull on other women’s shirts lol luckily it was only my moms friends but still. 
Like I said, I def dont think it’s good to breastfeed that long but it’s not my decision to make for other moms. So we may not agree with it but other moms are free to do whatever they want. Moms who formula feed from day 1 also get shamed. Can’t win. Lol

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable....?

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