⚠️POSSIBLE TRIGGER!⚠️

backstory: i was really underweight for 2-3 years (8-10 yrs old) due to a rough patch that my mom went through (basically, she spent all of our money on drugs so we didn’t have food.). i would go days without eating and the only time i would get a proper meal was once a week on saturday nights because i spent saturday night at my grandmothers house (i vowed that i would when i was 6 and i have ever since. mainly cause i’ve lived with her for almost 3 years)

i’m now 13 and a little overweight. i don’t look overweight. i’m very thin. i’ve forced myself to lose 5 pounds over the course of a week (i barely ate anything and when i was really hungry i drank water so i didn’t have to eat). i’ve started to skip meals and i’ve been drinking water instead of eating so i ate my first meal in a few days today and i’m having anxiety cause i feel like i’m gonna gain weight from one meal. i’m honestly getting worried for myself. both my grandmother and my aunt have had previous battles with anorexia and i don’t want to end up like that. i can’t talk to anyone because they’ll force me to talk to someone or they’ll put me on a wait list for treatment. i’m scared for myself. someone please help.