UPDATE: I broke up with him Friday... it was so hard. He begged me to stay, he got mad, he asked what is he supposed to do about his job because now he has to find somewhere to live to keep his job on his own. He said all the things I said were the reasons why are fixable, to which I said we’ve talked so many times about all of these things and nothing ever changes or it changes for a short while and reverts back. I said to him that I just can’t be his girlfriend right now and can only be there for him as a friend and I genuinely hope we can stay friends because that’s pretty much all we’ve been for a while... idk I keep going through waves of crying and waves of being ok but I keep thinking I made a mistake... maybe things weren’t as bad as I thought they were. I just feel so so lost.

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I’m 24, he’s going to be 27 soon. We’ve been together monogamously for 7 years...

I posted previously about my bf getting sick at a country music festival and us leaving 2 hours into it when he ended up wanting to come last minute and me scrambling to find him a ticket... he tried getting a friend into the park (obviously couldn’t without a ticket) and this took him away from hanging out with my friends (girls & guys) because he was on his phone texting. He also bitched about the drinks being more expensive than we thought they would be and he didn’t pay for a single one and I had $32 in drink tickets left over when we left...

Now I’m a pretty understanding person but this guy doesn’t take care of himself... and I’m getting tired of going through the same cycles with this guy.

I’m talking to him today about how I feel about our relationship:

- the country music situation (being disrespectful by being on his phone and having a bad attitude that he wouldn’t let go of the drink cost)

- we have had sex 1 time in the past 3 months and have had issues on and off with sex throughout our relationship (I’ve tried everything to try to make sex more interesting: lingerie, sexting, foreplay, toys, allowing him to be in control, leaving him alone, sex therapy, EVERYTHING) I don’t feel wanted and I’ve told him this.

- when he comes over on the weekend he gets pissed if I ask to have dinner or do anything with my family if I don’t give him notice in advance because he “comes over to see me not them” BUT I want to spend more time doing things with them together (I feel like I have to choose them or him when we have family visiting... I live in my parents basement and my grandparents live 6 hours away and this happens when they come to see us)

- he hasn’t driven for 3 years since a bad car accident he caused where I almost died (he does therapy on and off but never commits, I’ve tried being supportive but he puts his stuff on me and I’m tired of having to carry the emotional weight when one person won’t help themselves. This also means I have to drive us everywhere. Also his mom drives him over to my place if we hangout here and he doesn’t come if she can’t drive even though there is a bus route, so otherwise I have to drive to him)

- I do all the cooking when we’re together

- we NEVER go out and when we do go out he complains the whole time (he says he doesn’t feel like he got to “hangout with me” when we go out and do things because quality time to him is spending the whole weekend in bed watching tv & I like to go out and do hikes and see things and experience things)

I have expressed these things before but I feel like nothing ever changes... my first relationship was abusive and when I left my ex committed suicide 2 months later (I know this wasn’t my fault and he had a lot of mental health issues but this plays on me being scared to just cut ties with someone).

My current bf is just emotionally draining.. we’ve been through a lot but I don’t feel like I’ve been getting what I need in the relationship. I want to have a house and a family one day... and I don’t want to be stuck with someone who I’d have to carry their whole lives. I want someone who can take care of me sometimes instead of me always taking care of them... I know I’m a caregiver literally and figuratively because I’m a nurse but I need someone I can lean on sometimes..

I’m scared and I don’t know if I’m valid for considering a breakup... I’m so scared but I know I’m not happy and I’ve told him this before a few times. I tried leaving 2 years ago and he begged me to stay so I did but things only ever get better for a little while and then go back.

😔💔 Any advice? Am I wrong for wanting to leave?

He says “I’m one in a million, but I feel that his actions show me otherwise.” He always seems to be more words and less action...

I also haven’t seen him in two weeks and he texted me saying it sounds like your going to break up with me... and I said that isn’t fair to say on text when the person had told you multiple times that they want to speak to you in person.

EDIT: I’m so scared that this is the best I’m ever going to get, I’ve never left someone that I still love 😔 and I’m just so scared of what will happen afterwards. We were supposed to move into my basement together this autumn because his job is moving to my city and I feel like I’m screwing him over..