me and the love of my life met in 2015. we dated on and off for a couple months then in 2016 became official. ever since i saw him, i’ve been in love. regardless of all the pain he’s put me through. he completed me. he taught me how to love. he taught me what i deserve and don’t deserve.

i had moved schools, so we didn’t see each other. but he never asked me on dates or made an attempt to see me. he broke up with me but didn’t tell me for months. he was messing around with a lot of girls behind my back. his friends and the girls would tell me. he always denied it but eventually started saying it was true and acted as if he didn’t care about my feelings.

on my birthday, he stopped talking to me. he would come back ever three months but would leave. he always said he loved me and missed me and things weren’t right without me. but he was always messing with other girls behind my back. i found out he had a girlfriend and was sad. my heart felt drained.

two months ago he came back and said that he still loved me and had feelings for me and that his life wasn’t right without me and i was like a drug to him and he couldn’t stay away. at the beginning he showed it but he stopped. i told him my feels for him and that i still loved him and wanted to be with him and he said he wasn’t perfect for anybody, then i found out from someone that he posted a video of him kissing a girl. he told me i don’t deserve this but he’s the one doing it.

i eventually told him that to either start treating me better and showing me what he says or i was going to be like him, then he said fine.. so i took it as that he didn’t care. but he texted me after.

he’s just inconsistent. i don’t know anymore. he tells me things but doesn’t show and it’s confusing. i just need to know how he feels but every time i ask him he gets mad and leaves.

i’m still in love with him but i can feel myself slowly giving up on him. i haven’t told him how i felt because he doesn’t text me a lot. i want to attempt one last time but i don’t know. i need help