So I have a friend who I love, but her family situation is really messed up. She lived in California and I lived across the country when we became friends, as we went to high school together and reconnected when I sent her a box of baby things when she announced she was pregnant. I never knew her in high school, but I did this because I knew her fiancé was into heroin and that they were financially struggling and I just really wanted to help out. I had my baby at 22 years old and we struggled during that time, so I knew how scared we were and just wanted to help her and her fiancé. Anyway fast forward, she now lives back on the east coast and is about an hour away from me. So we started hanging out. But the thing is, we parent so differently. She screams at her kids and I don’t like to do that to mine/for my kids to even be around it. Also her now husband is totally verbally abusive to her and her kids, and my kids aren’t used to that and I don’t want them around that either. There’s also drug use still going on, and I just started to distance myself from her because of all of this and more. I’m sad about it because I really do love her but I’m stuck in a tough spot and don’t know how to handle it. She just texted me “did I do something to make you upset with me?” And it’s because I haven’t reached out to her in so long/I missed her sons bday party. Anyway bottom line is I’m being a bad friend and feel terrible about it because I wanna be there for her, but I don’t want to put my kids in a bad environment when we get together. How should I handle this?

Edit: she’s never used heroin/done any drugs. It has only ever been him. Her brother also does and has been in and out of jail. But not her, she really does have her stuff together it’s just the people she’s surrounded herself with/that she’s surrounded by. I don’t know if he’s still using heroin, but I know he uses weed for sure