I am so tired. Trying every month, with my Hope's up for nothing

For seeing that positive then losing it a week later

For seeing everyone else pregnant

For congratulating them when it hurts

For smiling every month, and crying in the end

Looking at the bedroom ready to be filled, now I keep the door shut

For making every could it, get my Hope's up

How do I let it go and just start living again, when i want it so bad!

I am just tired.