I never pictured myself being a single parent. None of us do. I really think thats best in my case. I have been getting accused everyday since I found out I was pregnant. For 6 months I have dealt with accusation on top of accusation & reliving the past.. all cuz I wanted to give my babies a 2 parent household like I was given. The person I chose to spend years of my life with has continuously shown me why Im better off without him but I always tried to see past it. When you go to your first routine prenatal visit they check your urine and they swab your vagina for a STD screening. 3 months ago it came back negative. I went for a cervical exam a little less than a week ago and I tested positive for chlamydia. Before I went and had the exam done I noticed he had been keeping his phone right under him. Wouldnt leave it in the car to run in the store, wouldnt even leave it in the room with me on the charger. My gut was telling me something was up but I never checked to see exactly what because I was trying to trust him. I thought maybe it was just pregnancy hormones since this is my first time around. Im never sure what to expect with being pregnant with twins. When my test results came back I was numb. I didnt feel anything at first. Then i became sad then shortly after i became angry. Now I feel like I have completely failed my children by giving them a father that has shown his colors so many times before I even got pregnant. We both have done things in the past so I was honestly trying to start over and let the past be the past. This is a hard pill to swallow. I just dont understand how a person could be so careless and not even care about their unborn babies.. Im better than I thought I would be actually but I never thought I would be walking in these shoes. I found myself praying more and this is what I got out of it. The truth. I hate it had to come like this but it's better now than closer to delivery. I know I'll be ok. I got this. It just sucks and makes me feel like I failed.