Im a FTM and my baby is 7 months old now. I know i had postpartum depression and anxiety. I’ve always had issues with depression but I thought I overcame them. Anyway, after the baby it got so much worse and i started to hate being a mom. I feel so ashamed to admit it but sometimes i just want to just disappear.

My husband loves me and supports me. My son is pure perfection. I have a good career and we are financially very stable. I have a loving family and a strong circle of friends. But, im miserable. And I’m so jealous of all the other moms i know. I see how happy they are with their babies. How content they are with life, when im just so overwhelmingly unsatisfied.

I enjoy my time with my son but it also feel so mind numbing. And i feel guilty about feeling that way. Then i get into the whole “im not a good mom” rabbit hole.

My SIL can’t stop talking about her son. She’s also pregnant again and shes already planning the next pregnancy. Meanwhile I cant think of having another one. I’m jealous because i want to feel that way and be open to having more kids, but I know it will not be fair to anyone.

I wonder if anyone feels that way? Guilty for only wanting one and feeling less like a good mom because you simply don’t enjoy the humdrum lifestyle.