I find myself on odd days here and there still have a deep seated hate for an ex who was my first love and first long term relationship but ended up cheating on me for over a year and a half behind my back with his best friend I just so made and convinced myself not to worry about, endless disloyalty, betrayal and lying happened for a while till he actually left me over Facebook messenger the day before our 5th year anniversary. I still kick myself heavily for not leaving sooner or being smarter with decisions in this relationship but I hate him. It’s been years and I still wish him all the worst in the world. Yeah, it’s probably immature and everything else under the sun but I just hate that feeling in my heart knowing he’s out there even slightly happy after what he did to me and sadly other women too.

Is it even possible that I’ll somehow stop having this ill willed hatred towards him? How do I heal this?