Am I being unreasonable?

Question

I have a demanding job where I work 50-60 hours a week ( and makes a solid portion of our income)Some of it is remote but I do commute an hour most days. My husband has a job over an hour away that is also demanding. He only has one day off a week but often times he stays in that town a couple nights a week since he gets off late and has to go in early. I pick up all the extra slack at home with our two kids (4 and 7). Like everything from waking up to going to bed, plus my job. On his day off today he knew I had a ton of work to do but he napped for 4 hours, went and ran, yoga and worked out, showered, and now is out looking for some shoes. So here I am with the kiddos again trying to work and cook them dinner and he’s literally done nothing today. I feel terrible but, I don’t get days “off”, ever. Even when I’m home on a Saturday it’s doing stuff around the house, keeping the kids alive and shuttles to different events. Maybe I’m just frazzled but I feel terrible for thinking this 😭

Answer

No that is unfair. In my opinion if both parents work, home duty’s should be equally shared.

Answer

So he gets a couple of nights off and a day off a week, while you don't get any down time at all? That is not a fair distribution of parenting responsibilities, relationship responsibilities or living responsibilities.  
I personality find it weird when people say that they work or live an hour away from something, as if it is a long period of time. I live in Australia, and it is quite common to spend anywhere between 40 minutes to an hour and a half traveling to work. I personally have traveled 2 hours to work before. I quite literally do not know a single person who travels less than 40 minutes to work. 
I get that you get off work after a long day and you are mentally and physically drained. Sometimes the extra travel time home can seem like it lasts forever and all you want to do is relax. However, he needs to put it in perspective. It really is not that much time, less than a movie in fact. So opting out of your responsibilities is not really ok, just because you are tired. That is not how parenting or relationships work. Because guess what someone still has to cook, clean, do the lundry, bath the kids, settle them to sleep, mind them, teach them etc... And when one partner opts out the other person has to pick up their slack. So they are doing their share and someone elses. You seem to be in this situation. You are holding down a full time paying job, plus being a full time parent with little to no help from your husband. If this continues it will create resentment in your relationship if it hasn't already, and you will burn out from the sheer overload of work to be done. This has got to stop. He needs to stop opting out because he is tired, guess what so are you. 1 hour travel or just over is not a long enough time for him to need to stay in a separate locations. If he is home you can alternate nights for responsibilities or share them so everyone feels they have time to decompress. Furthermore, think of the money that you save on him spending the night away could go to hiring a cleaning lady for 1 day a week or a date night out for the two of you to emotionally reconnect.
You two need to have a serious discussion on the roles and responsibilities in regards to parenting, work, your emotional connection, how you communicate, and how you live together. I highly recommend couples counselling as a forum to discuss this without it turning into an argument. 
Best of luck hun, I hope you get some well deserved time for you.

Answer

No you deserve dats off too

Am I being unreasonable?

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