Sooo.... If you follow me you know I've had 5 miscarriages and PCOS meanwhile still ttc #1.

Let me start by saying by any means this post isn't towards bigger/ plus size women this is just what I think will work for me and my body.

For those who don't know my story it goes a little something like this. I was diagnosed with PCOS in early 2016 and my periods have always been irregular. Then I thought I was just this lucky girl that only got periods every 90 days not knowing this would become a issue for me in the future.

In 2013 I experienced my worse first mc at 3/4 weeks at work. Then pregnant twice in 2017 with the help of clomid/ metformin and again in summer '18. I got pregnant on my own dec '18 and mc at 6w1 in Jan '19 and since then I've gained 30lbs😳

My OB referred me to a fertility specialist to see why I couldn't sustain a pregnancy. Both me and my husband went to the specialist and had lab work (chromosomal testing) which came back normal for both of us and the specialist mentioned she doesn't see anything that would increase another mc but she'll be happy to monitor my next pregnancy when I do become pregnant again!

So mid August I contacted my OB and requested clomid to take on CD 3-7 but my period hasn't came on since 6/3 and today is 8/4. My husband and I are excited to start clomid because it has worked for me everytime. But the thing is I weigh 198 and if I get pregnant I'll be over 200 and I know my body/ health will not be healthy enough to carry. Let me admit... I'M LAZY! No excuse, I need to start exercising and staying AWAY from junk food.

Tonight I'm gonna tell my husband I don't wanna try to get pregnant until I lose weight. I just don't wanna crush his feelings because he wants a family bad and I'm too fucking lazy to lose weight and take care of my body and he has to suffer too😫