My baby is now 5 months old and has been home since 1 month 2.days old.

I'm wondering if any of the other moms that are as far out from the NICU or further, have anger toward the hospital surrounding your childs birth. My baby was a 37 weeker and when she was born they didn't hold her up for me to see, didn't put her in my chest, I didn't get to see her for the first 2 days, and didn't hold her until she was 3 days old after I had a nervous breakdown due to a complete lack of information. The nurse announced in the operating room "first APAGR is great." So why couldn't I see her for even a second? Why couldn't I feel her skin on mine? Why couldn't I meet her they way I was supposed to, seeing her for the first time? The first time I ever saw her she was covered in wires and machines. I dont have that perfect memory of "oh hello! I've waited so long to see you!" They took her out of me and took her away like I'd just been a surrogate. I feel like with all this compounded they stole even a decent birth from me. It wasn't what I wanted sure but they couldn't even give me a single bit of normalcy in her birth or any real comfort afterward as I sat babyless in my hospital room listening to other babies and their mothers interact. I truly feel that no skin to skin, no immediate nursing, and being dropped in a box attributed grately to the amount of time my full term baby spent in the hospital. I feel like the birthing hospital royally screwed up and didn't want to admit it. Within the NICU while advocating for my child I had a nurse say "you dont want to be that mom. The one who questions the nurses and doctors. You'll get a bad reputation." I flat out told her "I dont give a flip what you think of me! I am this child's mother and your job is to give her the best care and I'm going to point out when that is not happening. I am a teacher and will fight tooth and nail for a child and family I've known less than 2 month you can bet your ass I'm going to fight twice as hard for my own child. We will leave here in a few weeks and then I will never see you again. So go ahead gossip and spread rumors about me, but atleast you'll be giving my child the best care because you'll know I'm watching." I was pissed and she was speechless. I'm sure she thought I'd become insecure and stop asking question and making requests.

When we finally were transfered to the children's hospital 🙌 the family counselor said with all the trauma, the length of time before I saw or held her, and unconventional birth I may likely have PTSD when it comes to being in hospitals. But that's not where mine lies. Mine lies in thinking about her entry into the world and her entire first month of life when the doctors and nurses did not listen to my concerns, tried to shut down my quest for information, and didn't really support me in anyway. I know time will heal these feelings, I also plan to write the birthing hospital about the issues within the NICU itself and advocate for better nurses and better family support.

Do any other moms harbor a little anger or resentment toward the hospital?