Super embarrassed: Ulcer on vulva not an STD? (WARNING GRAPHIC IMAGES)
Okay, so this post has two parts:
1) Rant
2) Diagnosis help
Part 1: The rant
I'm so tired of going through life and not being believed by doctor's in regards to my sexual history.
When I was 14, my mom took me to get vaccines for school. The doctor there had the option to get the HPV vaccine. I declined, knowing that 1) I wasn't sexually active and 2) had decided to remain that way until marriage. In front of my mom, the doctor chewed me. She called me a liar, said I would definitely become sexually active as a teenager, and said I was being childish for using that excuse. I was humiliated. It sounds minor now, but was really upsetting young me who had made a decision about my abstinence from sexual activity and took it very seriously.
When I was 16, after summer camp one year, I developed a fever that was followed by an outbreak of painful ulcers on my labia minora. It was literally the worst pain of my life. My skin felt and looked like I was literally melting off. I'd just started dating my first boyfriend, but still wasn't sexually active. I remember being so afraid to tell my mom - thinking she wouldn't believe me. When I finally got the courage, she took me to our family doctor. I told her how I would only undergo a physical exam if we could see a female physician. At this point in my life, I'd never even been the gynocologist. My mom refused. It was too far away to go to the gyno. She always saw men doctor's anyways. This was easier. We'd see how it goes.... Of course, the doctor immediately said he would need to do an exam in order to diagnose and treat the issue. After questioning me 5 times regarding whether or not I was sexually active, he did an exam while I laid there crying and took some swaps for cultures. I know it sounds so silly, but the whole ordeal really scarred me. He told me after the exam that he thought a step infection was the cause. A few days later the results came back negative, but the issue had already cleared up and we never had a real diagnosis.
Now at 27 and 33 weeks pregnant, I've had a similar, although less severe, breakout of ulcers on my vulva. Despite my insecurities, I scheduled an appointment with my obgyn (whom for all other purposes I've really loved). I wanted to get ahead of this and also make sure I wouldn't effect my baby. I was worried, but thought "I'm an adult now" and surely the days of doctors not believing me are over. It's probably also important to note that that boyfriend I started dating at 16? I married him. He's been my one and only my entire life. I've been his. We were both virgins when we were married 7 years ago. There is zero chance of either of us having an STD. But despite me telling my doctor this....the only thing she talked about is herpes. She tests me for herpes. Prescribed meds for herpes. Literally won't consider any other option but herpes until the tests come back. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed to once again be made to feel like a liar. She even implied at one point, in not so many words (although in a very kind way) that maybe there was something me and my husband needed to talk about. Then she hugged me. I burst out in tears in the office.
And in the end none of my shame or embarrassed is around the thought that someone things I have and STD. Plenty of people do, plenty of people have multiple sexually partners, and there is not shame in any of that...it just sucks to made to feel like a liar (or worse, to have it implied that someone in my marriage was unfaithful) by a doctor that you trust with something so sensitive.
Anyways, the results come back in a few days. I know they'll be negative. I really don't want to start the meds she prescribed me...but I feel like I should since she's my doctor?
Part 2: The Diagnosis (WARNING TMI AND GRAPHIC PICTURES)
It started with one ulcer that by the time I noticed it was covered with a white film. By the second day I had a line of red dots forming a second patch...and by day three that area turned into ulcers covered with a whiteish film. It's painful to the touch and everything feels pretty swollen. My obgyn said the second patch didn't look like typical herpes. Has anyone else had an issue like this before? And if so, what caused it?
In the first picture you can see the first white ulcer further in by my uretha, and the line or red developing ulcers developing
The second picture is of day three, when the red line became covered with a white film
Let's Glow!
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